The space
in-between

Face to face, in a strange space
a stranger meets a stranger
self encounters other
object finds image, body meets shadow
and pride meets humility
This twilight
this blurred in-between place
is neither a point nor a line
but where borders dissolve away
into uninterrupted succession of infinity
where there is no telling between
image and object, other and self, humility and pride

This rigid curve between you and me
is just a contingent turn of a spiral
just a spot in the expanse of continuity
But lo and behold!
It wears an illusive face of a border
It takes the name of divide and conquer
Am I the object and you the image?
Am I the real and you the fake?
Am I the original creature and you the copy?

This border slaps me in the face with shame
My hope melts into despair
The hate of you consumes me
and my head turns away with a jolt

I glimpse around. To gaze at eyes gazing at you.
To see your reflection in the lights of their eyes.
Yes I see eyes see you. And drift away
the moment they see you
Oh yes, I see eyes see me through you
and I shrink away from you lest they see me see you
Is it I? Is it you? Are we one? Are we two?

Yes I know I am I
and I know you are you
But I chicken out in the face of this border
and shame shatters me to pieces
Hate chisels me to a tiny grain of sand
and I shrink and hide in the nails of your toes
as you shrink and hide in the nails of my toes
Is it life or death, is it a mix of both?

Take away this name!
Take away this face!
Take away this hate!
I'm taking to my heels
My mouth wide open to prove my innocence
that I did not hide chewing gum in its vault
The dream I chewed on
suppressed under my tongue
A lie in my head, a shame in my heart
a lump in my throat, a sting in my eyes
I run away from you...

But you have a way of drawing me back
at zenith
as the soles of your feet suck in your shadow
Here I come back, pulled into your feet
yet, desperately wanting to stay far, far yonder
in that elliptic space where the shadow of other falls upon the self
Tell me!
In the name of name, what is your name?
How come you're nameless
in a land where even a dog has a precious name?
In the name of name, if you have a name, don't withhold your name
Do tell me please, No-Name!
Am I also to shed my name?

Don't leave me in the dark. Who are you, stranger?
Are you my granny? Are you my mother? Are you my daughter?
Are you myself? Are you my past? Are you my future?
Or are you Abdaarii, the spirit of the land?
Like the Sankofa bird weaving future and past
in that space in-between?

Oh spirit of the land, Abdaarii, Abdaarii!
The sun is scorching
these gazing eyes are piercing me
Abdaarii, my shade! Abdaarii, my sanctuary!
Take me up into your loving arms
Do remember me, Abdaarii!
I'm the fruit of your womb
and the womb of your fruit
in that unbroken continuity of eternal succession

When the lofty mountains opened their mouths
and ate up the sun
and the sky wore blood and the Earth wore gold
Rivers of blood, mountains of bones
Smiling skulls
Long after the horsemen and the footmen were gone
a curtain of red dust from the feet and the hooves
still hanging in the air with a golden hue
bewitching beauty in disgusting ugliness
You stood there still. Quietly watching, counting
the prints of the hooves and the prints of the feet
on the blood-soaked soil and the blood-caked mud
Where is your vengeance, Abdaarii?

Where is the healing dance?
Where is the missing link
between now and then, Abdaarii?
Where the tips of shoots hold hands with the tips of roots?
Where the days of yore and morrows embrace
in the heart of now?
Where the skies caress the earth
and healing intertwines with pain
in that elliptic in-between space?

Oh spirit of the land, Abdaarii! Abdaarii!
Take away the big pain and heal me
Give me back my name, give me back my face
Take me out of your toenails let me shine my light
because I am a star, a descendant of stars
That tiny grain of sand hiding in my toenail
was first a boulder
That boulder was first a rock at the heart of the earth
and the earth a star amongst other stars at the heart of cosmos

In the evening of life when shadows elongate
when zenith is no more, and the long day is gone
In the pitch black night of the pitch Black God
all shadows melt into the shadow of cosmos
In that peace of Waaq fear and shame are no more
Objects become shadows, self melts into other
Abdaarii! Abdaarii! Then shall I unite with you
My skin melts into your skin, without fear or shame
Then shall my soul blend with your soul
The spirit of the land! Abdaarii! Abdaarii!
Then shall I heal and become you
Then shall I heal, and become me
In the bliss of sweet pride and sweet humility
In that border-less space elliptic in-between